DARK BEFORE THE DAWN

It was an early morning, cool for June– the air brisk, calm before the busyness of the day. I went for a run, and I’ll be candid here, this isn’t a morning ritual of mine, but for some reason I felt compelled to be up before the sun that day.

Early mornings give me time to reflect before other priorities take over. It was right before dawn, when they say the night is the darkest, I was running forward, patiently waiting to see the sun come up bright and beaming.

I’m pretty content right now, in a good way. Nothing too extreme or life changing is taking place. A lot of friends and family have big events going on. Like really big, exciting, pivotal things happening in their lives.

Weddings, babies, new homes and big promotions. I am happily married with a new home in the near future but not right now. Right now I’m just living, slowly chugging along day by day. Instead of the roller coaster, I’m on the merry-go-round bobbing up and down ever so slowly.

If that sounds like a bad thing, it’s really not. I guess I’m just waiting my turn to announce that I’m doing something big and bold. I thought about this as I ran along the dim streets that morning. But as the shadows shifted so did my mindset. 

I thought back on times much more trying than these. Times that made my current lack luster days seem like a reason to pop the champagne and toss confetti.

Like the time my first relationship ended badly, and a friendship fizzled out. When I didn’t get the new job I was sure I was the best candidate for. The passing of a family member and a friend. Those were dark times and to be truthful and for lack of a better term, they flat out sucked.

There I was, in the middle of the black streets thinking about those sucky days when I had an epiphany. The kind of realization that is almost blinding, like the rising sun before me. I had survived it, all of it. I was there in the flesh, alive and breathing, albeit heavily from the run. What’s even more incredible is how much I had learned from those events. The bad, heart-wrenching, terrible moments produced such a gain I reap today.

When I look back on the events in my life, there’s a clear and constant theme. After the bad always comes the good. Not just good but great, amazing, out of this world. You’ve heard the saying "when a door closes, a window opens" right? Well, I have to slightly disagree with that one. From what I’ve seen, when a door closes, big beautiful French doors open.

I made some of my best friends whom I still rely on to this day, after a friendship dispersed. I met the love of my life shortly after I had called it quits on the dating scene. I know now to truly cherish life because no one is promised tomorrow.I got an even better job and promotion after not getting the original one I was going after. I learned who I wanted to be, my passions in life and who I wanted by my side during all of it.

Those hard times gave me an immensely deep sense of gratitude for where I am in my life, at this very moment. Would I have the same appreciation without those struggles? Maybe, I guess I won’t ever know for sure.

I do know though, that life right now wouldn’t nearly be as sweet if it wasn’t, at one point, so bitter. Even in my current, slow season there are little moments to be grateful for. Smaller occasions that I’ll look back on and see that they were leading to something monumental.

The day-to-day progress isn’t something to cast aside; it’s part of the whole story. Like the sun, it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, it slowly rises.

I don’t know which of these stages you're in right now, if it’s one of the hardest times, one of the best times, or if you’re like me and in a bit of lull. But I do know one thing is absolutely true, the night is darkest before the dawn. 

I saw it, on that very day I went for an impromptu run and what I experienced that morning was no coincidence. Whether you’re going through the struggles, the pain, or even the mundane that is sometimes everyday life. Take it from me, hold on and keep running towards the horizon because the light is coming. And grab your shades babe, because it going to be a big, beautiful sunrise.

P O S T  B Y :  C A I T  H O L M L U N D